So I go out and the dogs are playing, and I try to casually get hold of the little dog’s collar. He takes off down the driveway and up the sidewalk. I follow him at a slow pace (so as not to make him bolt) and we make it all the way past the school. At this point i make another attempt while he’s distracted and manage to grab the collar.

Then the fun starts. I lead him back for about 2 seconds when he balks and ducks. The collar slips, and he’s off down the road. I jog a bit to catch up and actually get to slip the collar back on while he’s busy with smelling a signpost. I triumphantly lead him across the street, and he goes limp and lays in the street, on his back.

I indulge him a bit of a rest and a tummy rub, then try to get him up and walking. Nothing doing. I cajole, I nudge, I prod, I ask nicely – still nothing doing. I let go for one split second, and he’s up and away. He makes it two yards down and gets stuck on a branchy little bush plant. Ok, this time I won’t let go for anything.

We almost get back on the road when he pulls the laying down trick again. Five minutes later I stop trying to reason with him and just pick him up bodily. Ouch. Too heavy. Plus I let go of the collar so he’s able to take off. That’s ok though, because I easily (and flukily) catch up and smoothly get a hold of the collar, and we start jogging down the road together, me hunched over the whole time, breathing hard and sore and tired.

A lady saw my struggles (no doubt laughing the whole time) and offers me a rope when I get close enough. I thank her profusely and promise to get the rope back to her once I am able to return the dog to its rightful home. She is the epitome of understanding and tells me to keep it as long as I have need. I must think of a way to thank her.

It was an adventure. A 45-minute-long adventure, and I am now sore. It was pretty funny though.

scary

this is geraldine. she likes swimming in pools, playing advanced dungeons and dragons (2nd edition only), and is a neurobiologist (hobby). she has loads of money and uses said money for buying and collecting mints.

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